I am happy in my life. And content. I'm just waiting upon the next step. That's all it is. There is something missing, there always will be until I fix my little family. That's always going to the hole inside. But I'm working on it. I know that if there ever has to be an answer for 2011 that it will not be the courts. It will be me. Doing the right thing as a father. Why I've always stayed forever vigilant. I watched you sit 3 aisles from me. I know where I stand on that. Nothing more needs to be said. There is no fear and no anger. Just sadness for the years we have lost. We have a lot to deal with. And even more to be hyper vigilant about. I don't know where it will all lead. I just know I will always be here. I will never betray you the way others in your life have. I may walk away at times to protect you, your mental health and my own sanity. But I will never hurt you intentionally. I'll always be here. The phone will always be answe...
I have no regrets. Only sadness that things didn't go the way they were supposed to when tell me about sad moments that I should have been there for. There are too many of those. I should have been at your side at the concert to to hold you. We have a moment now let's see how it goes. But I will always be here and it's pretty obvious now you will always be in orbit. Not being in each other's lives was a mistake. The fact that even tho we didn't sit together I have now watched a concert with my son is mindblowing. Hopefully stuff like this continues. I do understand why it's complicated. I'm very aware of we spend time together that those old emotions will bubble up to the service and once you've had my touch regularly or even been in the same room. With me extended periods things will change. I'm very aware you are afraid of that. But we have only so much time left. And that's gets very apparent every moment that we have. Esp the sorts scary o...